


stuff happens

by kayamaya



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Biphobia, Bullying, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:22:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayamaya/pseuds/kayamaya
Summary: "A few of the boys that previously loved to just generally call me gay while throwing compasses at me or something now started to low-key flirt with me and some stuff happened. Go figure." ~ Basically I'm Gay
Relationships: Dan Howell/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

“Oi, Howell” Dan looks up from his phone to see a couple of boys from the year above heading towards him. Shit, it's Ryan. And Tom following in his footsteps as always. He stares at them warily as they approach, not sure what exactly he’s done this time to attract their attention. Whatever it is that might have prompted it, he’s pretty sure that this interaction isn’t going to go well.

As the boys approach, Dan stands up awkwardly, not wanting the vulnerability of having someone towering over him while he looks up from where he was seated on a bench.

Ryan is right in front of him now, looking at him with a mixed expression of curiosity, contempt and also mocking, always mocking.

“Nice little hidey hole you’ve got here. Right next to the bins I see, appropriate.”

Dan isn’t a violent person, but if he was he’d really like nothing better than to wipe that stupid grin off of Ryan’s face.

Dan doesn't respond, just gives a nod.

“So, I heard something veeerrrry interesting about you today,” Ryan says, raising a brow and giving Dan a challenging look, as though Dan should know exactly what he’s talking about. Dan stares back at him, expression blank, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. But the thing is, Dan actually does know what he's referring to, or he at least has a pretty good idea. That fucking MySpace page, he thinks, supressing a sigh.

“Oh right?” he says noncommittally. He looks over Ryan's shoulder, seriously regretting his decision to to try and find a quiet place to avoid everyone on his lunch break. The good thing about having a school playground with plenty of hidden corners is that it gives you place to hide from the bullies. The bad thing about it is that when those bullies find you, it gives means they’ve got a safe place to pretty much do whatever they want without anyone walking by to notice or stop them. Not that most people would bother anyway.

Ryan smirks. “Yeah, it was something that…actually explains a lot of things to be honest.”

Dan can feel the heat start to rise in his cheeks, but he isn’t going to rise to the bait. If Ryan wants to roast him about his sexuality, he’s going to have do all the work himself. Dan isn’t going to hand him anything.

“Oh well, that’s good then. Glad to hear it cleared some things up for you.” Dan says. He bends to pick up his bag and try to duck past, but Ryan shoots out a hand to grab Dan’s arm and stop him.

“Hold on, hold on. Don’t rush off. I actually wanted to ask you a favour,” he says. He turns towards his mate. “Didn’t I, Tom?”

“Mmhmm,” Tom grunts, looking disinterested. Grunting and monosyllables are pretty much all Dan’s ever heard from him, living up to Dan’s appraisal of him as half school boy, half caveman – which isn’t, in fact, that uncommon of a combination in Dan’s experience.

Dan turns his attention back to Ryan, who has started walking towards Dan. Dan instinctively backs away, trying to keep a safe distance. It’s not really a threat yet, but it seems like it’s heading that way. He stops abruptly as his back hits the wall, but Ryan keeps coming, keeps moving until he’s right up in Dan’s personal space.

He brings his face towards Dan’s then swerves to the side to talk into Dan’s ear.

“What I heard about you is that you like boys as well as girls,” he murmurs, lips almost brushing Dan’s skin.

Dan swallows. He’s not quite sure where this conversation is going, but he’s wagering it’s not anywhere good. Still, he reasons that since the screenshots have pretty much made a full circuit of his year group, there’s not much to be gained from lying about it.

He replies in a voice that shakes only slightly. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Ryan pulls back, gives Dan an appraising look, as if he wasn’t expecting such an open admission.

Dan’s heart is racing now, he really isn't sure where exactly this conversation is going. He glances over Ryan’s shoulder at Tom, who starts almost guiltily when Dan catches him looking over at them. He quickly turns his eyes away to glance around, obviously taking his lookout duties seriously. No help there then, if this all goes to shit, Dan thinks.

Ryan is staring at Dan with a half smile on his lips, and an expression that Dan suddenly realises is almost…sultry? Is that the word? Dan doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, all he does know is that he really, really wishes he were anywhere but here right now.

Ryan brings his hands up and places them on the wall, on either side of Dan’s head. He dips his head down a little, and looks up at Dan from under his lashes.

“The thing is, I’ve been feeling a little…confused myself,” he says in a lower voice than usual. He licks his upper lip, and Dan can’t help glancing down to track the movement. He looks back up into Ryan's eyes, pretty sure his expression right now is 100% startled deer.

“I mean, how do you actually know if you really do like guys as well as girls? Does it count if you just think about it sometimes? Or can you only really tell if you actually do something about it?”

Ryan’s face is so close. Holy shit, what the fuck is this? Dan tilts his head, looking up at the sky, trying to calm himself down, get his breathing under control so he doesn’t hyperventilate. He can feel the panic and adrenaline surging through his body, but at the same time, he can’t lie, there is an undercurrent there of low level arousal – after all, he’s a healthy bisexual lad who’s never actually kissed a bloke and here he is with one pressed up close against him, breathe brushing his cheek, and seemingly asking Dan to help him figure out whether or not he might be attracted to boys.

He wonders what Tom makes of all this, looks over and sees that he’s biting his lip, looking pretty uncomfortable.

Then Ryan's hand is on Dan’s face, turning it back towards him, coming closer. But before their lips can touch, he suddenly jerks his head away and in seconds, the tension is broken. He's laughing maniacally, bent over double in front of Dan, looking like he’s about to piss himself.

“It actually worked!” he gasps out, looking up at Dan with derision. He catches his breath then turns to his mate, “Can you fucking believe it? This fag actually thought I was going to kiss him, he was well into it too. Gross!”

He turns his head and spits on the ground, then brings his attention back to Dan. He looms over him again, but all threat this time, not a hint of the seduction that had been there before.

“You might be trying to dress it up in fancy words, but I know exactly what you are. Filthy,” he brings stabs an accusing finger in Dan’s face with each word. “-fucking fag. I could see it the first time I met you. You’re not fooling anyone with all this bisexual bullshit, and I’ll be making sure everyone knows it.”

He laughs again, the sound hollow in Dan’s ears as the two boys walk away.

That relief he'd felt when he came across the word bisexual, the loophole he thought he'd found where he could still have some sense of being normal despite the feelings he'd been trying to deny, he can feel all of it slipping away. Who was he trying to fool?

Dan takes in a shaky breath, takes a minute to calm himself down. He blinks back the wetness in his eyes, pushes the shame and humiliation somewhere deep inside. Builds his walls back up so he can carry on with his day. It’s not the best lunch break he’s ever had, but at the same time, it’s definitely not the worst.

He’ll survive.


	2. Chapter 2

The music is loud, and Dan’s lost track of exactly how many Malibu and cokes he’s had. He’ll need to head home soon, stupid curfew, and he can tell he’s just slightly too drunk to make a good show of covering it up if either of his parents happens to still be awake when he gets in.

He pulls himself up out of the corner of the sofa he'd squeezed himself into. Some fresh air would help, he thinks as he makes his way somewhat precariously through the kitchen and out the back door into the cool November night. He leans on the railing that goes round the edge of the decking, and looks up at the night sky, his head already feeling clearer.

He's been out there a few minutes and is just about ready to grab his coat and make a move when he hears the door opening behind him.

He turns to see who's there, and realises with a sinking heart that it's Tom. He’d seen Ryan and his crowd swagger into the party a couple of hours after everyone else had arrived, clearly already pretty wasted but still carrying a pretty impressive amount of beer between them. He'd kept a low profile after that, knowing that the only thing worse than a bully is a bully who's full of beer and has an audience of wannabes to egg him on.

Dan's just considering whether it's best to leave his stuff in the house and head straight home, when he realises that Tom's taken the spot next to him by the railings, and is holding something out to him. 

“Want a fag?” he asks, holding out a pack of cigarettes in Dan's direction.

Dan flinches at the use of the word, warily waiting to see if it’s part of a set up to throw more insults at him. Tom pauses a minute as he registers what he’s just said. Dan can’t quite catch the expression that flits briefly over Tom's face.

Dan clears his throat. “No, you’re alright," he replies. "I don’t smoke.”

Tom shrugs. “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t either. Rugby coach keeps giving me grief about it.”

Dan can hear a slight slur to his words - it seems like all that beer might finally be having an impact. People like Tom usually seem to be able to drink all night and still be the same stoic, expressionless rocks that they were at the beginning.

Tom puts the pack of cigarettes back in his jacket, and tilts his head up.

“Nice night,” he says. “Not too cold.”

Dan frowns a little. So a week ago, he was watching while his friend threw homophobic abuse at Dan, and now they’re having polite conversation about the weather?

He makes a non-committal noise, not really engaging. He thinks he can sense Tom's eyes on him, flicks his gaze to the side just to check. Tom's looking over at Dan with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Dan swallows, feeling uncomfortable. "Full moon," he finally says, feeling compelled to break the silence.

"Yeah, it's a nice view. Pretty." Tom replies. He's still turned towards Dan, who can see a ripple of reaction cross Tom's face, almost like he was surprised at what he'd just heard himself say. 

OK, hold it right there. Is he winding me up or is he like...flirting with me? What the actual fuck is this? Dan's mind darts back to the events of the week before, recalibrating. He looks at Tom now with new eyes, possibilities ticking through his brain.

Almost before he realises it's happening, Dan finds himself talking, the words coming out of his mouth even as the thoughts are still forming in his mind.

“I saw you before, when Ryan had me pushed up against that wall." Dan narrows his eyes. "You were watching us.”

Tom frowns, his expression turning wary.

Dan holds his gaze, steady, challenging. He isn’t sure where this courage is coming from, or whether it would be better described as foolishness. Maybe he’s just sick and tired of hiding, avoiding, deflecting. Maybe just for once he wants to be seen. It's such a cliche, homophobic bully turns out to be secret closet gay. 

“When Ryan was….doing whatever the fuck that was. You were looking, weren’t you? You couldn't help it.” He raises a brow, smirks a little. “You liked it.”

“Shut up!” Tom blurts out, looking equal parts shocked and offended, but underneath Dan can sense it, a glimmer of....something.

“What was it you were thinking about?” He leans in a little, his voice lower. “Were you wishing it was you doing that to me? Being that up close and personal?" He gives a little grin. "Or maybe... it was Ryan you were watching? Was that it? Got a crush on your best mate?”

“Shut up” Tom growls. He gives Dan a warning look and stabs a finger towards him. “You just shut the fuck up.”

He's suddenly struck by the physicality of the boy in front of him in a new way. Obviously he'd noticed it before, his size, his strength but only in terms of assessing how much damage he could potentially dish out if Dan got on his wrong side. But now, he's still noticing but in a different way. There's a spark there of something risky, something dangerous and there's a part of him that doesn't want to lose this new feeling, not yet.

Tom turns to go back into the house, but before he can walk away, Dan finds himself reaching out for his shoulder. Tom looks back at him, expression grim. Dan feels a prickle of fear, not sure if he's pushed things too far but fuck it, he's found this new brazen attitude from somewhere and he's going to go with it. 

Dan tilts his head a little to the side, looking at Tom through his lashes. “You could, you know. If you wanted to.” He pauses, giving Tom a moment to take in his words. "I mean, you could be the one doing that with me. If you'd like?" He bites his bottom lip, partly out of nerves and partly because he knows exactly how he looks when he does it.

The invitation hangs there in the air between them, Tom’s expression giving nothing away. Then suddenly he’s moving, grabbing Dan by the arm, leading them round to the side of the house where it’s dark, and no one can see them from the kitchen window.

He looms over Dan in the gloom. “So I can do this, can I?” he says, almost belligerently as he pushes Dan back and crowds into him, mimicking Ryan’s posture from the week before.

Dan raises an eyebrow. “Seems like you already are,” he says, a half-mocking tone to his voice.

“How about this?” Tom brings his face closer, closer and Dan lets him. This this time there’s no pulling away. His mouth presses against Dan’s, his hand moving to the side of Dan’s face, holding him in place while lips and tongue explore. It’s strange, so different to kissing a girl. He doesn’t even fancy Tom, not really, but it doesn’t seem to matter, he’s into it anyway. He’s finally getting to experience what he’s wondered about for so long, a man’s body pushed up against his, strong hands, a slight scrape of stubble against his chin.

It's exhilarating to have this thing about himself confirmed that on some level he'd always known. The way his body was lighting up, he knew there couldn't be any denial any more. He deepens the kiss, hungry, claiming. There's something powerful in wanting, taking, be wanted in return and he's heady with it. 

He feels Tom's thigh pushing between his legs, and lets out an involuntary moan at the delicious pressure just where he needs it.

Tom pulls back, looks at him with hooded eyes as he reaches down and cups his hand over Dan’s dick, hard in his jeans.

“And this?" he asks, voice gravelly. "Can I do this?”

“Fuck yeah,” Dan groans. He doesn’t care that it’s cold and damp and they’re in the back garden of someone’s house that he barely knows with half their class just the other side of the wall. It feels good, and scary, and new and he wants it, God he wants it.

Dan feels the zip of his jeans pulled down, and then the shock of a cold hand against him that quickly starts to warm up. He lets his head fall back against the brick, his eyes close as he focusses on the sensations. He hears Tom spit into his hand, then the sound of a second zip. He opens one eye, hazy, not sure what’s expected of him, but then he feels a new sensation, Tom’s hand and something else that’s definitely not cold, pressing up against his cock.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes. Tom leans over to kiss him again, sloppy and uncoordinated and Dan can feel his hips bucking upwards, chasing the sensations, his body taken over by it.

It doesn’t last long. Dan comes like a punch to the gut, Tom not long after with a pained grunt. They stand there for a moment, trying to catch their breath. Then they’re awkwardly trying to clean themselves up, make themselves look presentable and hide any sign of what they’ve just been doing.

Tom looks evasive, not quite able to meet Dan’s eye. “This doesn’t mean anything you know.”

“Doesn’t it?” Dan asks, a genuine curiosity in his tone.

Tom squares his shoulders, turns towards him.

“If you were thinking of saying anything. This doesn’t mean anything about me. We’re both pissed, you were offering it on a plate, I wasn’t going to turn it down,” he says gruffly.

Dan gives him a long look.

“OK, sure. Whatever you say,” he says, as shrugs and walks away.

It doesn’t have to mean a thing.


End file.
